JUST TELL ME WHAT I WANT: THE TOOLKIT

As I was writing the book, there were so many exercises I wanted include, but only so much room in the book. Here's a list of the ones that couldn't fit, but are still tremendously valuable. Even if you loved the ones in the book and they really worked for you, give these a shot. You never know what might connect for you in a new or different way.


What Will "They" Think? 

Sometimes when we think we can't do something, or aren't allowed, there's a "they" or an "everyone" we have in mind. If there's something you want, or are afraid of because "they will think it's stupid" or "everyone will laugh at me", spend a minute with that. Drill down your "they". Give them names. Make a list of each person you think will judge the choice you want to make or have made. 

Is it true that they'll be really concerned about what you're doing? Is it possible because they want to do it themselves, but have their own "everyone"? Do you think that person really wants to be the reason you're not pursuing a dream? Do you really want to mold your life around what that one person may have thought once, but not not even think that way anymore? Do you think they would want you to? What would happen if that person didn't agree with you? Could you imagine going ahead with what you want anyway?

List out each person and what you think they would say about you.


But This One is Really True... 

Some times judgments or opinions from others around us get so ingrained, we take them really seriously. We treat them as facts, but in reality they're just a single thought that we have chosen to make mean something more than all the thousands of other thoughts we experience each and every day thought. 

Think of three reasons that have been holding you back from doing something you want to do, or are curious about, but think it might be a waste. 


Be the Awkward Weird One

If a physical activity is out of the question, you can certainly try an non-physical one. But the goal is to step out of your comfort zone and make your brain take a backseat for a little while. Take a risk. You'll know when you're really trying and when you're playing it safe. 


Channel Your Inner Marie Kondo

In the book, I challenge you to identify three things to bring into your space that feel luxurious and like the Beyonce-version of yourself would would approve. The idea is that seeing these things regularly will infuse you with more baller energy, and since energy begets energy, it will bring more baller things into your life. This doesn't not have to be a private jet or a million dollars. Yoga classes, lattes, and nice boots make me feel pretty next level. As do good books, dinners with friends, and the occasional blow-out. Baller is just a state of mind - a reminder from Oprah and myself live your best life. Which is technically probably a lot cheaper than you think.

If your space is packed, maybe the better thing to do is channel your inner Marie Kondo. Evaluate what's going on in your living or work space and get rid of 3-5 things that you don't particularly love. Things that we are tolerating can also be energy-drainers, so eliminate them and create space for something better. New and better things need space to come in, so don't feel any rush to replace. Enjoy the new spaciousness you've created. 


Dear Future Me

Write a letter to your future self. Write to your self for one year from now. What are 3 things you want to be different, you want to achieve, to own, to be done with - anything. Send it to me and I'll email it back to you in one year.

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